Therapy for neurodivergent adults

Section On this page

Maybe you’ve known for years that you have ADHD or are autistic. Maybe you only started to wonder recently, and you haven’t mentioned it to anyone because it sounds like an excuse. Or it’s your partner, your child, or your ex you’re wondering about. Many of the people I work with are in one of those places, and some figure it out as we talk.

You don’t need a diagnosis to work with me. I don’t do ADHD or autism assessments myself; if you want one, I’ll refer you to someone who does.

Where my experience comes from

Before I went to graduate school, I worked in several public schools, with students from elementary through high school. Many of them were on the autism spectrum. That work showed me how wide the range is: two people with the same diagnosis can have very little in common.

I also have plenty of neurodivergent people in my personal life. They’ve taught me a lot about how differently people engage with the world, from sensory preferences to language use to social style.

What a divorce does to executive function

A marriage runs on routine more than most people notice. Who tracks the appointments, who pays which bills, who remembers the birthdays, how the evening goes. A divorce takes all of that apart at once, and rebuilds it across two households.

If you have ADHD, or if routine is what’s been keeping you steady, that can be the part that knocks you over. Transitions multiply, the paperwork doesn’t stop, and the person who used to hold half the logistics is now on the other side of them. Some of our work is practical: what to hold onto, what to drop, and what to write down.

Co-parenting across two households

Co-parenting adds its own load: handoffs on a schedule, school and medical decisions made at a distance, and communication that’s almost all written and often tense. If writing under pressure is hard for you, those messages can take over a whole evening.

We can work on that directly, drafting the reply together in the session. There’s more on co-parenting after a divorce.

When it’s your child, or your ex

Sometimes the neurodivergent person is your child, and you’re trying to give a kid who needs predictability a steady life across two homes. That comes up often, and we can work on it.

Sometimes it’s your spouse or ex, or you’ve started to wonder whether it is. I won’t diagnose someone I’ve never met. What we can do is look at what’s been happening between you, and what you want to do about it.

Sessions that fit how you work

There’s no single way I work with neurodivergent clients. Each person has their own way of taking things in, talking things through, and getting things done, and I match the work to that rather than asking you to fit mine.

All my sessions are by video, so you’re in your own space, with your own lighting and noise level, and there’s no waiting room. For a lot of people that alone makes this easier.

Questions people ask

Do I need an ADHD or autism diagnosis to work with you?

No. Some people come in knowing, some suspect, and some figure it out as we talk. None of that changes whether we can work together.

Do you do ADHD or autism assessments?

No. If you want a formal assessment, I’ll refer you to someone who does them.

Is therapy by video easier for neurodivergent people?

For many people, yes: there’s no commute and no front desk to manage first. If video itself is hard for you, tell me and we’ll work out what helps.

Can I see you if it’s my partner or child who’s neurodivergent?

Yes. A lot of my work is with partners and parents of neurodivergent people, in individual sessions.

Do you see neurodivergent couples?

I see a small number of couples, including couples where one or both partners are neurodivergent. Couples therapy has the detail.