Therapy for men
Individual sessions by video in Washington State and Rhode Island
On this page
Maybe nothing is wrong, exactly. The work is fine, the family is fine, and you could list the reasons you should feel good. You don’t, and you haven’t found a way to say so that doesn’t sound like complaining.
Maybe it comes out as a short fuse. You snap at your son about his shoes, then replay it for the whole drive to work. Or it’s flatness: a good weekend lands about the same as a bad Monday.
Maybe your partner has said “I never know what you’re feeling” enough times that you’ve stopped arguing, because you’re not sure she’s wrong. And the friends you might tell are the ones you see twice a year.
The men I see
Some of what they bring in:
- Irritability or anger that lands on people who didn’t earn it
- Feeling stuck or flat, often in a life that looks fine from outside
- Imposter syndrome: doubt that gets louder with each promotion
- A relationship that has gone quiet, or keeps having the same fight
- Fatherhood: being the father you meant to be, or not being the one you had
- Midlife, and the question of what the next twenty years are for
- Few close friends, and starting to notice it
- Drinking that has crept up, one extra glass at a time
You don’t need a name for it before you call. Plenty of men start with “something’s off” and work out the rest as we go.
Who I’m not the right fit for
I’m a solo practice with no on-call coverage, so I’m not the right person in a crisis; call 988 or go to an emergency room. If the drinking has gone past cutting back, and stopping would need medical help, you need a higher level of care first, and I’ll help you find it. I don’t prescribe. The full list is under what I don’t treat.
If one of these is the bigger part
Some of what men bring has its own page, with more detail than fits here:
- The marriage is ending, or you’re wondering whether it should: therapy for men going through divorce, or the short version, Is this you?
- The divorce is behind you and the handoffs aren’t: co-parenting after a divorce.
- You work in tech, and the trouble is the job, leading people, or being heard: therapy for software engineers and tech leaders.
- You have ADHD, are autistic, or are highly sensitive, or suspect it: therapy for autistic, ADHD, and highly sensitive adults.
- You both want to work on the relationship, together: couples therapy. If you’re already seeing me on your own, I’ll refer the two of you to a good couples counselor instead, and your sessions with me stay private.
How I work with men
You’ll know what we’re doing. Most men I see want to know what we’re doing and whether it’s helping, so early on we agree what you’d like to be different, in terms you’d notice at home or at work. Then we check on it.
You don’t have to arrive with the words. A lot of men start with what happened: the email, the argument, waking at 3am. That’s enough to work with.
Between sessions, we try things. A small experiment: answer “how was your day” with one true thing, leave your phone in the car through dinner, call back the friend you keep meaning to call. Then we look at what happened, and adjust.
Tell me when I get it wrong. I’d rather hear it in the session than have you quietly stop coming. My approach has the longer version.
The first step is a 20-minute conversation about what’s going on and whether I can help. Request a consultation, and I’ll reply within one business day.
What changes
Usually the fuse gets longer before anything else moves. You catch the sharp reply a sentence earlier, or you apologize the same evening instead of letting it set. Some men find they can tell their partner one true thing about the week without it turning into a fight. Some call the friend back, and then call again. The flatness often lifts in patches rather than all at once.
None of this runs on a schedule, and some weeks it doesn’t show up at all.
Practical details
Sessions are $250 for 45 minutes, by video, weekly or every other week. You need to be physically located in Washington State or Rhode Island at the time of each session. I’m fully out of network, so you pay me directly and get a monthly superbill (an itemized receipt you can send your insurer for reimbursement). Fees and the cancellation policy are on the fees page, and using your out-of-network benefits covers what to ask your insurer.
Questions people ask
I’ve never done therapy. What do I even say?
Whatever made you look this up is enough to start with. I’ll ask questions, and we’ll begin with whatever is most on your mind that week. You don’t need to prepare.
Is this going to be all about my childhood?
We start with what’s happening now: work, home, the argument you keep having. Your history comes in when it explains something about the present, and sometimes it does.
Do you give practical tools or homework?
Yes. Most weeks there’s one small thing to try before the next session, like a conversation to have, and nobody grades it.
How long does this take?
It varies, and I can’t give you a number up front. Because we agree early on what you’d like to be different, we can both see whether it’s moving, and you can stop at any point.
Does it matter that you’re a man?
I am one. For some men that matters, and it’s a reasonable thing to choose on. What usually counts for more is how well the two of you work together, and the first 20-minute call is a fair way to find out.
Do you see women too?
Yes, some. Most of my clients are men, and this page is written for them, but tech professionals, neurodivergent adults, and couples therapy are for anyone.
Will my employer or insurer know I’m in therapy?
Your employer won’t. I’m private pay and fully out of network, so your insurer hears nothing unless you choose to send it a superbill. The fees page explains how that works.
Other people I work with
How we begin
Call, text, or email, and we’ll start with a 20-minute conversation about whether I can help.